Friday, December 19, 2008

D is for. . .

In case you were not aware, the letter D is a letter riddled with misconceptions about it. Poor D. In another world, maybe D could have stood for Divine, Delicious, or Delightful. . .not so in the world of middle school.
In middle school, D is nothing but the slightly more sophisticated version of its feeble-minded moronic cousin, F.
Well, as it happens, my students actually do think about things some time. God bless some of my students, but if they can think about some of the randomness that spews from their brains, you would think they could remember to turn in their homework. sigh. Nonetheless, a student had a conversation with my class and I yesterday that, although arbitrary, made my heart light.
Student: Ms. Demke, what does D stand for?
Before I could answer, three students in class supplied the answer.
Student 1: Dumb
Student 2: Dreadful
Student 3: Doom
The last one concerns me most. Doom? I guess that sums it up about right.
By the way, in case you were wondering, in the American Grading system, D doesn't stand for anything that starts with a D. It stands for Poor.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Twilight, more like. . .Dumblight

So I finally saw it. I finally saw the Twilight movie last night. As an avid fan of the books, except for Breaking Dawn, that book can suck it (but that's another story), I was more than wary of seeing the movie. In fact, I haven't wanted to see this movie at all. But curiosity in humans is something that one just cannot avoid, therefore my poor husband (God bless him) and I went to sit through 2 hours of mediocrity.
Right away I knew I wasn't going to like this movie when Edward stutters talking to Bella the first time. Now, we are talking about a person who is 85 years old, is supposed to be strikingly beautiful and have all the confidence that his long years have provided him (so much so, that I have heard grown women admit that they are desperately in love with him, compare "real" men to him, and even devote "parties" to this teenage-fantasy. . .creepy). Believe me, Edward does not stutter. If he does, he is just another teenager, like the kids in my class, who are desperately bad at talking to the opposite sex.
And then of course, there is his hair. Luke Perry would be angered to know that Edward has stolen his Beverly Hillsesque hair-do and is using it to promote bad cinematic art. . oh wait, did Luke Perry ever star anything cinematically good? "Buffy?" . . no. "8 Seconds?" I never saw, but I'm going to guess no. And of course, for as much and as guilty as some us are for making 90210 a part of our weekly lives for many years, let's face it. Dylan and the gang don't exactly scream Shakespeare. Edward's hair could have starred in its own movie, it was so big.
Back to topic though. Edward and Bella's "love" story is about as believable as honesty in poltics. As believable as Amy Winehouse's sobriety. As believable as Cambrias having fun in the snow. . .you get the point. What Meyer would originally have her readers believe that Bella and Edward have a deep-seeded love for one another, enough that even grown women are engrossed with, is nothing but a pale and contrived mockery of the emotion itself. This movie couldn't have been worse if it had had song-and-dance numbers intermixed, and believe me, my husband made one up in the car, and it was bad.
To make matters worse, not only are Edward and Bella lack-lusterly in love five minutes after their laughable meeting, the make-up decisions made to depict the vampires, make this already bad script as comical as Edward's "I'm going to kill you, Bella" look. (He and Jasper look almost constipated through the first part of movie).

Here's the first quarter of the movie.

Bella: That's weird, those kids over there are so beautiful.
Audience: Don't you mean pale and creepy-looking?. . Is that flour on their faces?
Bella: That boy over there has stolen my heart already.
Audience: Um, Bella, he's glaring at you and has weird manicured eye-brows and strange, unnaturally pale skin.
Bella: He's different and an outsider, just like me!
Audience: Bella, you are like the most popular girl in school and have been in school for five seconds.
Bella: I love him! Even though he seems to despise me for no reason at all.
Audience: What?!

It was bad. Very bad indeed. The movie has sort of cured me (as well as Breaking Dawn, lousy, most-disappointing book EVER) of my Twilight obsessions, some although they were. I have even told students that next quarter, they cannot hand in any Twilight book reports. I haven't seen that sad a looks since Bella screamed at Edward from her hospital bed telling him she couldn't live without him since she had decided to make him her life since their meeting three days ago.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Christmas Cambrias Can't Stand . .

Students in December are the worst! You would think otherwise, right? You would think that teenagers, like other human beings, would feel the spirit in the air and be nice to people during the holiday season, but no!
They are sassy, greedy, and just plain rude. They have this whole "you are not the boss of me" attitude. Someone should tell them that Santa does not visit naughty girls and boys.
Six more days of school after today and I've never been more ready, the kids are really cutting in on my Christmas spirit!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


Surveys sometimes can't be avoided. . .must . . .write down stuff about myself that I'm probably the only one who will read it. . .what is it about survey emails/blogs. . so addicting. Probably the only thing I'm addicted to more is ice cream, my husband, snacking at the job, shoe shopping, and watching dancing.

20 years ago I...
1. Was a gawky little girl with a bob hair cut.
2. Read "Charlotte's Web"
3. Was the chess champion of my third grade class.
4. Played Barbies with my sister all the time!

10 years ago I...
1. Was a BLONDE and a Beauty Queen Reject.
2. Read "As You Like It," "Measure for Measure," and "The Tempest"
3. Graduated from High School and was a Freshmen at SLCC.
4. Hung out at The Bay with Wendy, Carolyn, and Nicole all the time!

5 years ago I...
1. Was a hippy with long, brown hair all the way down my back.
2. Read "Paradise Lost"
3. Was an English and History Major at the University of Utah with ambitions to become a teacher.
4. Went to Milwaukee twice to see RyanandErica!

3 years ago I...
1. Was a stylish girl with a new haircut, new shoes, and suddenly very little brown in her wardrobe.
2. Read "It's Called a Break-up Cause It's Broken"
3. Was a recent college graduate and a scared, over-worked, overwhelmed new teacher.
4. Dined with Nikki, Alisha, and Katie on a regular basis.

1 year ago I...
1. Had bangs and new make-up.
2. Read the first three "Twilight" books and got many others hooked on them.
3. Was teaching my very own self-made and favorite lesson plan, A Christmas Carol.
4. Got engaged to my wonderful and adoring fiance in San Francisco.

This year I...
1. Dyed my hair back to brown, worked out more since 1999, and picked out the most important dress of my life.
2. Read "Stepmotherhood"
3. Finished my Reading Endorsement and now am a qualified Reading Specialist.
4. Became a family with my boys.

Yesterday I...
1. Straightened my hair so it looked like I had washed it.
2. Read my students' SRI Testing scores.
3. Stayed in from lunch with my failing students so they could make up some missing homework and hopefully pass my class so they can one day have the opportunity to further their education.
4. Addressed 73 Christmas cards and thought about how blessed I am to have so many people in my life.

Today I...
1. Straightened my hair so it looked like I had washed it.
2. Read Katie, Wendy, and Julie's blogs and smiled.
3. Gave my second period a new seating chart so our classroom could be more conducive for learning and used . . .and taught. . . .the word "conducive" to my students.
4. Will go to the play, The Forgotten Carols, with my whole family, which is eight people now, for the 11th year in a row.

Tomorrow I...
1. Will probably straighten my hair so it looks like I washed it.
2. Read students' papers on Service.
3. Watch my students present the third Stave of "A Christmas Carol."
4. Get to wake up next to my husband, let out my crazy puppy and tell her over and over not to jump up, bite, or lick, and kiss Sawyer good-morning.

Next year, hopefully, I...
1. Will have a new hair-do and go to the gym more regularly.
2. Read my own writing.
3. Be in/applying for grad school.
4. Travel somewhere romantic with Stuart for our 1-year anniversary.

Not too bad of a survey and one that actually made me think about things that I like/did/would like to do. How about you?

Don't Even Worry That There's Only Eight Days of School Left

Hooray! I love being a teacher this time of year because I have a Winter Break. Do you have a Winter Break? No! Teachers are the only adult profession that still gets Winter Break. So far, this holiday season has been awesome and magical. I have THREE Christmas trees (pictures to come later) and I've been to two Christmas shows and have two more in the works, Forgotten Carols and The Nutcracker (My wonderful husband bought us tickets, I love him).
On Sunday, the Williams family took the train downtown and went to Temple Square, Sawyer loved and and so did Cambria. We also went and saw Santa Claus, whom Sawyer made a card for. My little boy is the cutest thing in the world! Santa said he would take his card to the North Pole. Sawyer's talked of little else since.
This really is the best time of year, a time to be so thankful for everything one has. I'm so blessed. I have had a wonderful year and as I reflect upon it, I think of a time when I've been more blessed and content in my life. Life has been good to me and for any hardships and obstacles that we face, there are many more times that the joy and happiness of life are prevalent. I am a blessed girl indeed!

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Christmas Time!

I LOVE Thanksgiving weekend! It officially kicks off my favorite time of year, CHRISTMAS! There is no better time in the book of Cambrias than Christmas time. Cambrias love Christmas and tomorrow I will be decorating my TWO, count 'em, two Christmas trees and my awesome husband put lights on my house today.
Today, we went and saw ODT's production of "It's a Wonderful Life" and have pretty much spent the weekend listening to Christmas music and watching Christmas movies. On Monday, I go back to school and start reading A Christmas Carol with my students, the greatest Dickens's book ever written, and then spending the rest of my time in December engaged in Christmas festivities: Festival of Trees, Temple Square lights, making goodies, seeing Santa Claus (I love having a kid, although his excitement for Christmas can't hold a candle to mine), Christmas parties, more Christmas lights, Christmas plays, shopping (started yesterday!), and so much more!

Friday, November 21, 2008


"MS. DEMKE!!!!"
"Good Morning. . .what?"
"Why are you yelling?"
". . . . .ok."

TODAY. . OH . . excuse me. . . cough. Today is the day that the Twilight Movie comes out, half of the female population at my school has already seen it. How do I know? They've told me. Why? Why if these girls were going to go to that movie at three in the morning. Why? Why did they have to come to school today?

Adults on no sleep: grrrr, leave me alone. I hate the world! Why world, why did you make today the day I run out of coffee filters? Why is Starbucks so far away from me?"
Little Kids on no sleep: WAAAAAAHHHH!! (Tie your shoes.. ) I CAN'T! WHY ARE YOU STARING AT ME!? I WANT. . I WANT. . I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT?!

The rest of the world crashes and burns on no sleep, but not so teenagers. If anyting, they are more hyper, more spastic, more loud, more intense, and much, much more energetic. God help us if ever go to some war on some castrophe happens that keeps us up for days on end, the teenagers will be our only hope.

Not only is it "Twilight" Day (and yes, there are girls walking around with Twilight T-shirts), but today is the day before the great Utah vs. BYU Game. Administration, yes Administration encouraged, no, demanded that students dress up to support their favorite today. Not just dress up. Please, wear your war paint too, kids. Teenagers are very susceptible to the slightest chance that they can put down their everyday idiocy and realy get down to some major stupidity. My classroom has been tagged many many times by ninjas carrying blue Y that suspiciously look like they were made from the copy room here at school and I've been told that I suck by 7th graders.

And to think that I was going to call off today and didn't. . .

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

My Little Alligator

I know it's late, but here's my little alligator playing B-Ball. We had a great Halloween!
Next, Thanksgiving and then the Cambria-Mecca. . .CHRISTMAS!

Vetran's Day

Today is Vetran's Day. . .it seems to be one of two government holidays that school is in session, bummer. Oh well. My brother goes off to boot camp in six weeks. He's a brave man and I know that he will honor our country and himself.
Don't forget to think of the vetrans and soldiers today who sacrifice much for us!
God Bless America!

Red, Red, Red

Last Thursday, many fans rushed the University of Utah football field after winning against TCU. I did not rush the field (I have this thing about crowds), but my heart swelled up with pride, I HEART my Utes.
The Utes face two more teams and hopefully will go undefeated.. . .I mean, I hate BYU so much! I have some students who are the smuggest little BYU fans and I would love to rub Utah's win in their face (What? I teach Middle School and you think I'm a grown-up?). I told my students that if Utah wins the game, no homework over Thanksgiving Break and if BYU wins then they get extra homework. . you would not believe the fair-weather fans that BYU has at my school. . . . ha ha ha.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

This Day is Lame

I am a bad teacher today. I usually have a lot of spunk at school. Energy is my middle name. My students do not leave my class without a joke (sometimes at my expense), but today, I'm just BLAH. My students are quietly working while I'm sitting at my desk typing this blog; ah! just the way I like it.
Why? Why, Cambria? Why are you so BLAH today? I'll tell you why! Because of this! . . .

She looks sweet and innocent, right? .. She is, actually, but she's a little puppy. Her little puppy bladder can't hold it all night. So, like an infant, I am up in the middle of the night letting her out to go potty. Now, you might not know this already, but Cambrias really don't do well with no sleep. They get grumpy, they snap at their husbands, they drag and basically, if allowed, will curl up into a ball on the floor and cry. .or pass out, whichever comes first.
God bless my little dog. Course, she's not only to blame. Our new empty house, in all its glory looms at me whispering at all the work that is in store for me now that I am responsible for it. Stupid adulthood.
If anyone needs me, I'll be asleep at my desk.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

He Left Me

After only a month of marriage, my husband has left me. But don't worry, I got a house.
Stuart is currently in Cedar City for a conference and Sawyer and I are getting up at 5:30 a.m. every morning so we can get to school on time. We are sleepy people.
Good news though. I wasn't kidding about the house. Stuart and I are purchasing a lovely white brick home in my ol' hood in Murray. It is awesome and I am so excited about the prospect of not having people living on top of me and hearing them walk, talk, watch T.V. and. . .go to the bathroom. Our new house has FOUR, count them, FOUR bathrooms, a huge kitchen, a beautiful fenced backyard, and is right down the street from Sawyer's future kindergarten. We are very happy people right now! HOORAY!

Friday, August 22, 2008


It's been a while. So much has happened! Now, I'm back in school, I'm moved into a new house, I'm married, I'm a stepmom, and most importantly, I got a haircut! For those of you who know me well, I am a gal who likes her long hair. My hair is now as short as it was last when I was nineteen-years-old. New house, new husband, new hair, I suppose.
How is married life, you ask? I love it!
How was the honeymoon? Fantastic!
How was the wedding that I spent seven months planning? The best day of my life. I had all my loved ones around me, everyone had a great time dining and dancing and most importantly, I was calm ALL day (My bridesmaids will tell you differently, but for me, it was calm).
I love my wonderful husband and my beautiful new little boy. I highly recommend marriage if you have found someone you like. There is nothing like it.
Now. . . back to school. How did this happen so fast? This had to have been the fastest summer of my life. Planning, packing, and running around like a crazy person (maybe that's why I like marriage, I'm suddenly not being pulled in so many directions).
Now I'm just running around like a crazy person at school instead of everywhere.

Monday, July 21, 2008

I Have More To Say

How could I go through the rest of my life and not mention the Highly Successful Shopping Adventure of Katie n' Cambria! Do I even need to tell you where this adventure took place? Why the greatest store in the world, NORDSTROM! Down in Provo at 6:50 a.m. Four hours later we left with such greatest in retail I can't even detail it all. I did buy a pair of riding boots, oh so comfortable (Stuart, watch out, there might be jean tuckage involved this fall) and the cutest grey mary janes! As the shoe-expert at my school, I'm only obligated to give the fans what they want!
Trust me, I purchased and I purchased well. I won't tell you exactly how much was spent, after all, Stuart reads this blog!
However, we did make a little wager. I have promised no more shopping in 2008, but if I slip I am not allowed ice cream for six months. To you this might seem like a some thing, but ice cream is like air to me! I am determined to keep up my end of the bargain, after all, Cold Stone just came out with a new flavor call "Heaven in a cup!" Blueberry Muffin Batter. I crave it with my whole soul. I better stop talking about it, or I'll need to abandon work to go buy some.

The Twelve Days of Matrimony. . and Bittersweet Memories

So, I am the biggest blog slacker in the universe this summer. . .and by the way, what happened to my summer. I have spent hundreds of hours packing and planning and next to no hours reading. No bueno! Oh well.
Well, it is upon us. Twelve days until I get married. AHHHH! So many emotions, so much to do, so much time still until my honeymoon (I won't be blogging then either!)
This has been a bittersweet month. My BFF, Katie and I are moving out of our cute "girl house" (Thanks, Erica!) and in the words of Monica on Friends "have to live with boys" now. Weird. Both of us are highly excited (at least Katie is going somewhere warm), but I think that the experience of living together has been priceless. I shall miss Katie, our long midnight talks, watching fashion and make-over shows, going to Olive Garden for soup (Katie) and salad (Cambria), having our own little runway shows in our house, and laughing together being silly.
Here's to us, K-Fab! (Our cell phone minutes are about to increase extensively!)
Love ya! C-Note

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

We Basically Rule

Yesterday kicked off the great Katie and Cambria Cleaning Extravaganza!. . And by cleaning, I mean getting rid of all our garbage that has been lingering in our apartment since WE MOVED THERE!
A 2 a.m. Bedtime
14 Garbage Bags
15 Yard Sale Bags
and a total of 76 pairs of shoes.
We seemed to have made some progress. I wish I could tell you I was done.

Do you have any idea what I was hanging on to?
Let me elaborate for your comic pleasure.
ALL of my college notebooks.
Two shoes boxes full of notes from friends dating all the way back to Jr. High
My fifth grade social studies project
A Christmas Shopping List from 1993
Two boxes full of Hallmark Cards
Endless stupid self-written poetry dating back to 1991
Hundreds of buttons
A random glove
Jewelry that I bought on a whim and have never worn
Love letters from my high school sweetheart
Lots of Teaching things could have helped me for the past two years
Beanie Babies
and the Bodyguard Soundtrack

. . .just to name a few items. Trust me, I am sure there is more embarrassment still to come.
Proudly though, I am giving away my most expensive shoes (that kill my feet), shoes I've never worn, shoes I've worn out, shoes that say "I used to be a hippy," and shoes that only a fifteen-year-old would wear. Sadly, I still have twelve pairs of flip-flops in my closet. How to part with Hawaii's greatest gift?
Among all the things I threw away, I also had a chick-flickesque moment of classic Hollywood in which I cut countless pictures of me and .. . well, it's just me now. What? I don't want to throw perfectly good pictures of me away!
Although, I must say, that as proud of myself as I am, I am still aghast and do not want to even entertain the thought of how many thousands of dollars I got rid of last night. My fiance says that between Katie and my things, we could paid off all our debts, or at least fed a small country. I hate to say that he might be on to something.
NEW GOAL! No more shopping this summer until July 18th, The Extraordinary Nordstrom Anniversary Sale. That's going to harder than waiting for my wedding date.

Monday, June 23, 2008

What? LIke You'd Blog If You Could Be Outside.

This is week three of summer and though I feel badly that I haven't blogged this month thus far, I can't say that I really feel all that bad. Summer has meant that I can finally relax and although I have discovered that day-time TV sucks, I have greatly decreased the amount of stress lines on face.
And when I'm not cursing out soaps or court shows I am outside or. . .
I am almost to the month mark on my wedding date, so all studies, reading, and sadly, gym time, has taken a backseat to Cambria's Wedding Week Extravaganza! Sounds like a circus doesn't it.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Not My Day

Yesterday my day started off great. I woke up refreshed, got a good workout. . Let that be a lesson to me. Things can always get worse. Observe.
When blow-drying my hair, I began smelling burning. . .curious. Ah! It's me, or rather, it's a chunk of my hair now lying in my hand! I panic because today is Sawyer, my future stepson's birthday party at Discovery Gateway (the Children's Museum at the Gateway Outdoor Mall), which I have pretty much planned and am super-excited for. I'll be seeing lots of people today, some friends of Stuart's that I have never met. . . .Now, they get to meet Stuart's bald fiancee. With Katie's help I discover it's not that bad. Okay, moving on.
Next, it's time to get Sawyer's birthday balloons. Walking into the store, I can tell this is going to be a moment involving special people. . . and don't worry, they made special balloons. At the rate of paint drying. Okay, little hiccup, but I can recover.
I am now on my way with a car FILLED with balloons (I'm serious, I can't see out the backseat) to meet Stuart and Sawyer for birthday brunch before going to the party.
Sawyer declares on the way to breakfast that he will only be eating cake today. Stuart and I retort that if he wants cake he will be eating breakfast today.
. . .Something is wrong with Sawyer. We get served delicious French toast and Sawyer just sits there (and I mean, he curls himself into a ball and moans, whines, and yawns). Stuart and I roll our eyes, assuming this is some sort of stand-off for cake.
Soon Sawyer is saying his tummy hurts.
Try as we might, we cannot get Sawyer to eat anything. 45 minutes later, we decide that he may have a stomach ache from all the junk food he ate yesterday at the Bees Game. Sawyer's crying in the backseat is further supporting that conclusion.
Stuart runs in the store to grab kids-whatever-make-Sawyer's-stomach-better-so-he-can-have-a-fun birthday-party-medicine and I put Sawyer on my lap while we wait.
"I'm sorry you don't feel good, Buddy."
More Sigh.
Now Heavy Breathing.
"That's weird," I think. "Maybe he's just.. . . "
We are now standing outside the car. Sawyer's popcorn from yesterday now lies on the ground in front of us. And on my pants. . .and shirt. . .and my seat in the car.
Stuart comes out of the store to see his fiancee covered in vomit and his son crying because this has just scared him to death. Stuart cleans off what he can using some clothes found in the car and changes Sawyer into new clothes. I am not so lucky.
Sawyer seems to feel better now and now we are off to the party, after Stuart realizes he has left his debit card at the restaurant, which we decide to get it later, which means we will be paying with the debit card that is in the car, mine.
We are late. Can you blame us? And party-people are standing outside with gifts and smiles (and probably secret laughter after they see me). I stand as far away from the information desk as possible with still being in proximity to it so the perky girl at the counter can hear me speak. . because honestly, I am starting to ripened at a dangerous level.
I quickly grab the wrist-bands for the party, fling them at Betty and walk as fast as I can (Damn heels!) to the closest retail clothes store. Walking in, I bark orders at the closest anorexic salesclerk to get me a pair of jeans in my size (yeah, right, like I'd tell you what size I am) and find the least expensive shirt in my size. When I get to the register I REEK! The salesclerk is nice though.
"My four-year-old threw up on me." I say.
"Oh." Click. Instant understanding. And probably more inside laughter.
I change in the dressing room into vomit-free clothes, and now I am running back to my car, where the "special" balloons await and throw my clothes in the trunk.

Special Balloons - $12.00
Uneaten Breakfast - $6.00
New Replacement Outfit - $70.00
Employees at the Gateway getting the laugh of their lives - Priceless

When I arrive at the party, it seems to be going well now. . .until Sawyer, the saddest birthday boy I've ever seen loses his steam again and it's determined that he has a bug, not just a bad eating habit. The remainder of the party is spent with Sawyer being passed from lap to lap in between more rapid trips to the bathroom (thank goodness it's across the hall). He lack-lusterly opens his gifts and barely has the energy to blow out his cheery candle.
Sawyer is the first to leave his party and my parents and I are the last as we pack up his presents, I cut my finger badly on one of them, and cry myself back to the condo, where our birthday boy is now comfortably resting in bed.
Later, Sawyer wakes up feeling a little better. He plays with his balloons and new toys, but declines any birthday cake, the only thing he had wanted to eat all day.
We end the day with Hungry, Hungry Hippos, new books, and Stuart and I passed out on the couch (But not before we eat the rest of the Kettle Corn from yesterday and two huge pieces of Sawyer's birthday cake) with stomach aches.
Can I have a do-over?

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

10 Days and Counting

I am 10 school days left.  I'm not sure that it will come soon enough.  My students are basically checked-out.  I can't even get some of them to bring a pencil at this point.  What's next, their shoes?
Some people think that school teachers are lazy people who picked their career based on the words, June, July, and August.  While this might be true for some, this is one teacher who is tired, and finds that she works a lot of hours in the other months to sort of even it all out in the end.  Not to mention, I'm getting a money-itch so in no time, I'll be at my other job full-time through the beautiful summer months saying, "Thanks for calling Marriott,"
Does work ever end?  Retirement seems a long, long ways away.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

I Love My Mommy!

Moms are the best. In my almost 28 years, my mother has been there for me through thick and thin. Has guided me, fed me, has worked numerous hours for me, has shown me how to be a lady, taught me how to color, cook, sew, wash and clean things, write, read, drive, shave my legs, curl my eye-lashes, and be a good and honest person, has sacrificed things for herself for me, has laughed with me, cried with me, cried for me, scolded me when I needed it, praised me when no else has, is my biggest fan, has advised me, has been example of a true friend to me, has taken me in when I had no where else to go, would still take in if I had no where else to go, has listened to me, talked to me, spoken on behalf of me, prayed for me, and is basically my hero. I know no one else who is as selfless and giving as my mother!
I love you, Mom. Happy Mother's Day!

All Carrots and No Ice Cream Makes Cambria A Dull Girl

C-Note: So, Stuart started a diet.
K-Fab: Oh really, what diet?
C-Note: A diet where he doesn't eat ANYTHING! No ice cream, no nothing.
K-Fab: Oh, so the NO-FUN Diet?!
C-Note and K-Fab: Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.

I give!
I have a fiancee on a diet. A BFF on a diet. And the character in the book I'm reading is on a diet!
I can't deny the signs. But you better expect to see me grumpy without my proper ice cream intake!

Friday, May 9, 2008


Last night, Stuart and I were driving home from the movies. . okay, we were actually driving home from ice cream after the movies, when all of a sudden, passing us was a car with only one headlight.  Without any hesitation, as if some instinct in me was controlling my arm, I punched Stuart as hard as I could and yelled "PERDIDDLE!"  
Poor Stuart, and his non-savvy, California-ways, was totally clueless as to why his fiancee whom he had just made happy moments before with ice cream was punching him (in all fairness, and Stuart will attest to this, I really did not punch him all that hard because I was laughing so much.  Still, the very act was confusing.). 
After I regained my composure (No I didn't), I was utterly clueless as to why Stuart had never heard of this delightful game.  My sister and I spent years giving each bruises playing this game and when I became a teenager, it was no less fun beating up my nearest and dearest friends with one hand on the wheel.
Then I thought, "maybe it's a Utah thing."  I was sure that Katie would know what it was, but when I asked her, she had never felt the joy of yelling "Perdiddle" and smacking her friends either (well, she smacked her friends, she didn't have a cool word to yell with it).  Weird, weird.
Am I the last cool person on earth (insert joke at my expense here)? 

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

I Heart Brownies

I don't know how anyone could not like brownies.  They are chewy,  soft, and they are full of chocolate.  What's not to like?  Today I brought brownies to work for an after-work baby shower.  This pan of brownies has been sitting here next to me all day taunting.  "Cambria!  Cambria!  Don't you want a brownie, Cambria?!!"  As if I am not already going to look like a freak for having two brownies missing from the pan.  Now, there might be a third.
Next to ice cream, there is no dessert I would rather have.  It could be the most exquisite delicacy from France or somewhere exotic and I would always take the brownies.  Call me a Utah girl.  Call me hoakie, but brownies are where it's at.
When I was in college I would make a pan during finals week and enjoy chew chocolately-filled hours writing papers.  No one was allowed to eat them except for me.  Not my ex-boyfriend, not my ex-roommates.  I am pretty sure I would not have shared them with my own mother (Love ya, Mom!)
I LOVE BROWNIES!. . I just realized that writing about brownies is only making me crave this pan next to me more.  I'll have to make another pan tomorrow (Love ya, Stuart.  You know I am so bad for out diet).
These brownies are making me nuts.  Ew.  That is one thing I do not LOVE, nuts in brownies.  I hope you agree, readers.  Seeing brownies with nuts is like seeing a pair of fabulous shoes on sale and then being told there are no more 8 1/2 left.
Who writes a whole blog entry about brownies?  Better yet, who reads a whole blog entry about brownies?

Reading Is The New Black

So yesterday, one of my favorite new authors had her new book come out.  Jen Lancaster is so funny she literally makes me laugh out loud when reading her delightful books.  Her first book was so awesome in fact, that I was trying to device a way in which I could buy the rights and write it into a screenplay.  It's that funny.  
So her new book came out yesterday (I have all my favorite modern authors' book releases penciled into my calendar.  Yes, I am that awesome.).  I want nothing more than to get out of work with my adorable teenagers and dash to the bookstore.  Only problem is that I have many obstacles in my way.  My night class (stupid Tuesdays), going to the gym, grocery shopping, and making brownies for a baby shower I am attending today (don't worry that the pan mysteriously has two brownies missing.  I'm as surprised as you).  So, with all these conflicts, I think that maybe i can still get in maybe two hours of reading before my 10 p.m. bedtime (11 p.m.).
However, when I get to the lovely Barnes n' Noble in Provo (don't ask. . .my class in is happy valley), there is no "Such a Pretty Fat" in sight.  In fact, the only book I can seem to see is Stephenie Meyer's new book.  Now I love Bella and Edward as much as the next gal, but seriously?!  Upon asking the nice, but helplessly dumb salesclerk to find my book (PRONTO!) can can't find it.  Not in the back..still not in the back.  "I'm sorry.  Do you want me to order it for you?"  yeah right.  
So, after I skip out of my class early, I drive to yet another two bookstore and it is nothing but The Host" as far as the eye can see.  Who does Stephenie Meyer think she is, anyway?  
Finally, an intelligent soul finds it (I swear, sometimes, I imagine myself in another world being a friendly book clerk.  But then I would probably turn out like the snobby record store clerks in "High Fidelity.").
Major Disaster avoided.. . .oh yeah.  I totally bought the Stephenie Meyer book too.
Books are my crack.

Monday, May 5, 2008

The Test Is In The Directions

Today, I have to administer I very boring and very "important" state-standardized test to my students.  This goes on pretty much all week and it sucks the life out of me while I sit in careful silent checking my email and sucks the soul out of my students who must succumb to rows, dictatorial teacher-authority, and awful silence (all in the midst of spring, otherwise known in the teenager world, as goof-off season).
But, while I do have a certain empathy for my students, I still must wonder at the competency of some of their listening skills.  When the directions of a test state "Do not open your test booklet until I have told you to do so," you would think that this would be simple enough, right?  You would think that a fifteen-year-old could handle this, yes?  But NO!  Not so.  Many of them just can't help themselves.  They must open the booklet.  It is like some sort of  magnetic force inside them is prompting them "Open the book!"  
So. . .I, of course, get to stop.  Look at the student.  Watch the wheels turning inside their heads. "Why is the teacher staring at me?"  Pause.  "Why is the teacher staring at me?"  More pause.  Teacher, "Please DO NOT OPEN YOUR BOOKLET UNTIL I Have instructed you to do so!"  Oh.  Student is embarrassment.  Teacher. .really, is embarrassed enough for everyone.  Jeez. 
 Simple instruction.  50% failure from students.  Perhaps I should grade them on whether or not they are able to accomplish listening-skills during my instructions. . but, then I would probably be sending too many to summer school.
Sigh.  20 more school days.

One Year and A Day

So, my fiancee and I have dating for one year yesterday.  He is wonderful. Utterly the best man I've ever met.  He took me to sushi yesterday (we met at a sushi restaurant) and we had an awesome weekend together hanging out, eating, and watching Twin Peaks.
Ladies, don't settle until you find one like this one.  Stuart was totally worth the wait and trials.  He is my best buddy, my confidant, one makes me laugh, smile, and so so happy.

Baby, I love you!

Monday, April 21, 2008

Getting To Know You

What is it about these chain emails that people get so addicted to? I am sure that I have received no less than 30 different types of "Get to know you" emails in which people pass along vital information about themselves, such as "diamonds or pearls" to their friends, who probably already know the answer anyway. "Well, thank God that I just learned that Timmy likes posies instead of tulips. I was highly misinformed and would have brought the wrong birthday bouquet for sure."
I kind of get the feeling sometimes that people often do not even read other's answers, it's simply a way for people to beat their own "score" if you will. "Last time, I was funny, but let's see if I can shock 'em too." It is sort of like those people who are in a conversation simply so they can hear themselves talk at some point and feel like they really zinged someone.
By now you will have noticed that I have now two "get to know you" entries that were sent to me. Just couldn't help myself. I had to fill them out. These posts are like email crack for people. I could be doing something totally important at work or lecturing students and as soon as I see one of these bad-boys I have to stop everything and think of my most embarrassing moment or what season really describes me.. .
Ridiculous, right?
But of course, you will probably see another "get to know me" blog. Maybe next time it will reveal what animal I would be in a former life or something.

Now you know my CBCs (Thanks Katie!)

Get it?! CBCs. . not ABCs, cause my name is Cambria.. . .he he he.

A- Attached or single: attached
B- Best Friend: Katie an Erica. . .and Stuart.
C- Cake or Pie: Cake. Pie has pie crust, therefore, it is yucky.
D- Day of the Week: Saturday! It's the day of rest, the other six days are devoted to the worst four-letter word ever-WORK.
E- Essential item(s): i-Pod, Books, my water bottle, and Engagement Ring.
F- Favorite Color: Green, although, after reading Katie's blog, I am sort of getting partial to shiny.
G- Gummi Bears or worms: Worms. . .and red ones only.
H- Hometown: Murray, UT
I- Indulgences: Nails, Pedicures, Froo-froo coffee drinks, and Endless i-Tune purchases.
J- January or July: July, snow sucks!
K- Kids: Sawyer and one day maybe a couple more.
L- Life is incomplete without: Stuart, Sawyer, family, friends, music, stories, laughter, and summer.
M- Marriage date: August 1st, 2008
N- Number of siblings: 1 sister, 1 brother, 1 brother-in-law
O- Oranges or apples: Apples everyday, but oranges are good too. . fruit though, not the juice!
P- Phobias or Fears: Heights
Q- Quotes: "Life is too important to be taken seriously."
R- Reason(s) to smile: Summer, Saturdays, Sawyer being happy, home-cooked food, sushi, traveling, warm beds, socks
S- Season: SUMMER, followed by fall, followed by spring.. ..winter can suck it.
T- Tag seven: Do seven people even read this blog?
U- Unknown fact about me: TBA
V- Vegetarian or meat lover: Just white meat and fish please. I would much rather have veggies.
W- Worst habit: Chewing my FAKE nails.
X- X-rays or ultrasounds: I don't think I've ever had an ultrasound.
Y- Your favorite food: sushi.
Z- Zodiac: Gemini

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Only Tony Will Get This

Isn't my future stepson adorable?! He has got to be the cutest, the smartest little three-and-half-year-old in the world!

Here's Sawyer with "Girl." See that wedding dress she's sporting? I made that.


New Spring Colors!

Friday, April 4, 2008

I'm Bored

I know these are dumb/silly/trite/whatever. I'm bored. 20 more minutes of work at the 2nd job and then home to my fiance, jammies, "What Not To Wear," and ice cream. Enjoy!

One Word
All my answers in one word or less....

1. Where is your cell phone? Necessary
2. Your significant other? Stuart
3. Your hair? Brown
4. Your mother? Hero
5. Your father? Awesome
6. Your favorite thing? Saturdays
7. Your dream last night? Nightmare!
8. Your favorite drink? Coffee
9. Your dream/goal? Novel
10. The room you're in? Office
11. Your Ex? Douche
12. Your fear? Heights
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Vacation
14. Where were you last night? Movies
15. What you're not? Lazy
16. Muffins? Blueberry
17. One of your wish list items? Money
18. Where you grew up? Utah
19. The last thing you did? Read
20. What are you wearing? Jeans
21. Your TV? Nonexistent
22. Your pet? Lucee
23. Your computer? On
24. Your life? Bliss
25. Your mood? Tranquil
26. Missing someone? Stuart
27. Your car? Jetta
28. Something you're not wearing? Flip-flops
29 Favorite Store? Nordstrom
30. Your summer? Wedding
31. Your favorite day? Christmas
32. Your favorite color? Green
33. When is the last time you laughed? School
34. Last time you cried? Wednesday

40 days and 40 nights

It will be summer in forty school days. . can a Cambria get more excited?


Fellows, ya might want to sit this one out.
Ladies! You will all agree! Why do women's undergarments all have to be so complicated? As you know, I'm getting married. My bee-u-tee-ful wedding dress has a low back, hence, I need a brassiere to accommodate such. Well, guess what? I canNOT find one! I have been to every department store in my horribly ill-equipped town and everyone that I try on is a half inch too high. A half inch of misery that I can call my own. I won't lie. I am a little worried. Another stab at women's lib. Anyone have any ideas? At this point I am thinking about white duct tape.

Friday, March 28, 2008

I Just Want To Breathe or maybe better titled- Randomness

I did think of something to write about. . .my allergies. I have officially been a teacher for almost two years and I have been sick probably about four months of that time period. Sadly, all those months are within this current school year. Now. . .I have allergies. Stupid flowers.
I will be beginning a countdown now at this point until the end of school (46 school days staryting today)!
Isn't it great? I'm adult and yet, I still get to look forward to summer break. Hooray for me. Although I'm sure that all the work at my two jobs right now balances it all out somehow.
I wonder how many days it is until my honeymoon?. . one moment please.
Doo, doo, doo. Doo, doo, doo, de, doo, doo, de, doo, doo.
Sweet! 128!
. . .Did I mention that I only have 46 school days left this year?


Cambrias work way too much! So, apparently I have not been able to share my thoughts/wisdom/rantings with you since late February. So much has happened, but not really. One month and I've worked a lot. Very boring stuff. Not really interesting enough to write about.
Sadly, I don't really have anything else to talk about.. . so, I guess that's it.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The Acorn Never Falls Far From the Tree

If you don't think that you are a direct result of your parents' personalities, think again. If you don't think that people who you've known that meet your parents and think to themselves, "oh, so that's where he/she gets it from." you are mistaken!
This is a thought that is on constant replay as the night of meet/greet/treat/beat?/defeat the parents continues to cut into my workout time. Oh well, at least I have Miles Davis to keep me company so I don't rip off my fingernails again from boredom.
Parent/Teacher Conferences is an interesting time for a teacher to do a psychology study and see her students' exterior front of "make me" attitude eveporate into timid steam as they melt into the eyes of their peeved parents and the wrath they face when they go home. . home, away from the safety of the aloofness of the classroom. A haven, that not hours ago they were cursing and thinking to themselves, "I can't wait until school's over." Funny. I didn't know so many student actually knew the word manners, let alone could use them. Having a student who gave you the "I hate you" look in second period say "yes, ma'am" is quite a thing.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Hooray Again!

Take that Michael Clayton! Good movie, but no where near the award winner of last night.
Did anyone think that Oscars were as boring as me?

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Hooray for the Cohen Brothers

If you can't tell from my blog name, I am a HUGE fan of the Cohen Brothers' films. Tonight's Oscars features the best movie of 2007, No Country For Old Men., hopefully to win best picture. Seriously, have you seen this movie? It doesn't have music!, and the bad guy in the movie was so creepy that I checked all the closets when I got home to make sure he wasn't standing there with that air gun(well, actually, I didn't. I made my fiance do it. I was too scared.) This movie is so fabulous, I could devote a whole blog just to how great it is. Long story short, if you haven't seen it, stop reading this and go see it (That is, if blood does not make you squeemish).
Naturally, because this movie is the best movie of the year, it won't win. Who knows why the academy doesn't know the BEST movie when they see it. It seems to happen more often then not, can we say Titanic and Oliver!?
Wouldn't it be great if the public could vote for the best film? Course, I guess since we don't really have a say in the actual REAL important elections (Thanks Electoral College), the Academy Awards really shouldn't be/aren't that big of a deal.
. . I do like Jon Stewart though.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Sorry but Not

Women turn into Monsters at least once a month. And they find a way to torture the poor man who is closest to them. The man who we should be kindest and gentlest to, we demand unrealistic things. "Be at my house 5 minutes ago." "Why don't we have peppermint ice cream? (Only around in December)" We say horribly rude things. "I hate you." "Why did you take me to this sushi restaurant? I wanted to go to the other one!" We sputter unfair comments and expect the perfect response. "I am SO fat!" "Do you think I look fat?" "Am I fat?"
Poor men. Like a said earlier, my darling fiance takes all this horrific and childish behavior with a smile on his face and rubs my feet in return. "I'm a bad person." I think. "Why am I being so mean?" "I love this guy and he didn't do anything to me."
But somehow, women who realize this and note their bad and VERY illogical behavior don't care and ask for more chocolate and "Sex and the City" episodes, NOW!.. .I mean please.
Ladies, you get this right?

Sunday, February 17, 2008

I suck

I have the greatest fiance/boyfriend/husband-to-be (which sounds right?) in the world. I mean it. Every lady claims that at the height of her engagement, but I really do.
Valentines Day, a day for suckers. Christmas and the Fourth are really the only holidays that I readily accept; and although Christmas these days is primarily a ritual for buying things, it has/and has had this togetherness/world-peace/be nice! sort of feel to it. The Fourth of July is also a time that families can come together as Americans in the name of BBQ and fire and focus on what's in important, being the best! And whether families act in this manner always or are only hunted once or twice a year by do-rightness, this holiday makes families spend time together and. . I like fireworks. My hometown has the best in the state.
Back to Valentines and these other would-be holidays. Not much to them except for money, greed, and days off (Thank you, government!). Wormy St. Valentine seems to be the worst at promoting meaningless monetary flow. I mean, I was still sipping eggnog in reindeer jammie-pants when the grocery stores were boasting their newest Spongebob and Dora card designs in aisles that not moments ago had been happy elves and battery-powered dancing snowmen.
So, I pretty much hate Valentines. It tromps on my lingering Christmas cheer and promotes unnecessary exchange of tokens of love on a single day, thus making couples feel like they really "rekindled" the old flame. yuck.
My fiance, though, in his never-ending quest to show me his love, and probably to prove me wrong, made Valentines a very big deal, with flowers (The Tuesday before, not on Valentines Day, clever move), my favorite band's new CD, dinner and ballet tickets, which I'm a sucker for. Damn it! Does that mean I have to like Valentines now? I didn't so much as whisper "Happy Valentines" all day. Should I feel guilty? Does Hallmark make belated Valentines Cards. "Sorry I didn't make you mine yesterday. BEE mine today!" With a picture of a bumble bee with little hearts on its antenna?

Whatever, I still hate it.

. . . my fiance is awesome though. We were on the fifth row.

Oh Great!

My Blog looks like MARSHA.

What it is about Boredom?

Boredom does strange things to people. Some, it makes them lose hours in front of a TV that they are probably still paying for, watching reruns of Friends that have been off the air for years. Basking in the glow of the irridescent past. Slow, steady, not in need of anything more then canned laughter and Sally telling people to change. Wonder that the viewer never takes those lectures to heart?

Others who are bored, feel the need to consume. No wonder sales always take place on long, artbitrary three-day weekends. "Must buy something." "So bored." "Macy's is having President's Day Sale and Easter is over a month away." hmmm. Maybe that's why I own shirts in three different colors. Damn Old Navy and their bargins!

Every once in a while, boredom births creativity. Thus, a blog is born.
Another half-hearted attempt at doing something different. Something that no one has ever heard of. . . .oh well, at least I waste 30 minutes at work.